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Stephen Smith is a Senior County Referee officiating from grassroots up to semi-professional level, but his involvement in football has reached the dizzy heights of linesman for Premiership reserves and FA Vase games. By day he is a university administrator.

First a word about the Chelsea v Barcelona game. Before I’m accused of avoiding the subject, let me say that I AM avoiding the subject. Everything has already been said and I agree with most of it, so on with the show…

It seems players feel I’m being harsh when I pull them up for saying things they shouldn’t to an opponent. Many comments are meant to be funny – and usually are – and others are meant to be off-putting but can do no real harm. Threats are quite common though, as are comments designed to distract someone from the penalty he’s about to take, or insults after a poor shot.

Not content with thinking we’re blind, players like to think referees are deaf too so won’t be able to hear the quiet word meant only for the superhuman ears of the visiting captain. A blast of the whistle (solely to tell the goalkeeper not to take the goal kick yet, of course) usually makes the offending player jump out of his skin and, ironically, with any luck makes him temporarily as deaf as he imagined me to be. It’s the threats and insults that need to be stopped, and if I need to talk to a player I often explain that I’m not going to miss any resulting punch he might receive, so I’m making sure I’m first to react to anything verbal. The sensible players recognise that my words hurt less than a broken jaw.

This is often one of those moments where I’m not sure what action to take and I let the player tell me what I should do. Of course, I don’t tell the player this! It depends what was said and how it was said, and the context and environment need to be considered, but some general options are: a quick reminder not to say things like that, a telling-off, a yellow card or a red card. I might start with some sort of reminder and then quickly judge how the player reacts and what to do next. The reminder generally does the trick, but sometimes a player talks himself up a level and a quick chat can turn into a booking. If the original comment to the opponent was more serious, I’ll start at another point on the scale.

On calling one player over for such a chat recently, I told him I wasn’t happy with what he’d said. I added that I’d considered a yellow card but had decided against it as the game was nearly over and it would be good if neither of us spoiled it with a pointless booking. He completely missed the hint and said, “Well book me then”. I told him I’d rather he just calmed down and concentrated on the game, but he said “I don’t give a damn. If you’re going to book me, book me.” So I did.

In a different game, I came across the British swearing champion who barked a few choice words at an opponent. I managed to get him to one side and I told him there’s no place for that on any football pitch. He said, “Aw, come on Ref. It’s part of the game.” I said, “Well that’s fair enough, as long as you accept that this is too”, and I showed him the red card.

Good banter between players is one of the best aspects of parks football, but crossing the line can turn it into one of the worst. Referees aren’t deaf, so players who threaten others run the risk of getting booked or sent off. If we don’t react maybe the threatened player will.

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Click the ‘Gaffer’s Office’ tab above for my Q&A page on the laws of the game.

My new book - Beat About The Bush: The Funny Side of Language - is now available from Amazon here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beat-About-Bush-Funny-Language/dp/1608603067/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256203814&sr=8-2
It's a humorous look at the funny things we all say in everday life.